Chowchilla Trash: The Baby Pushers

Friends, romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! And for my less intelligent friends- Sup bro, I've got the downlow..

So, I've decided to start a new blog. If you know my personality well enough, it should be apparent that I'm extremely blunt and outspoken and DO NOT sugar coat things, hence my blog name. I'm known for putting a funny spin on morbid events, and by morbid events... I mean life as we all know it in Chowchilla. My blogs will be vulgar and truthful, so if you're easily offended you probably shouldn't read them. The topics will be random, but I have a feeling that the absurdity of Chowchilla will have me going for the majority of my new blog. Enjoy.

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Everyone should be well aware of the baby epidemic that has struck Chowchilla in the recent years. I was going through my senior year book with a friend and we wrote a list of everyone in our graduating class that is now a parent. Which not only includes the women in our class that popped a baby out of their lady business, but the men that have planted their seed in some unfortunate woman somewhere. Sadly enough, we knew the numbers would be ridiculous. But we were not expecting them to be over 3/4 of Chowchilla High's graduating class of 2007. Even more shocking news, the average of children per household is at two. TWO kids, for the average 21-22 year old parents here in Chowchilla. In the majority of these cases, the kids are being raised by a single parent. The younger classes aren't too far behind my class. The numbers of teenages pregnancies are increasing more every year.

I like to call these individuals the Baby Pushers (aka BP's, which I encourage you to call them from now on as well). They are easy to spot on Robertson Blvd. You see them all the time. The stereotypical 'Chowchilla Trash'. Young men and women, usually dressed in pajama's.. Pushing their baby in a stroller (because they can't afford a fucking car), cigarette in one hand, styrofoam cup from the local liquor store in another. You know what they look like, you've seen them a million times..

I become more angry with each BP I see everyday. Babies shouldn't be having babies. I don't think anyone around my age or younger should even be thinking about having children. You have an entire life to live and all of that changes when you have a child. You lose your childhood when you gain a child. Age isn't the only factor, financial responsibility is a huge part. If you don't have a stable job, and benefits- you have no business bringing a child into the world. The majority of the teenage parent's in Chowchilla rely on WIC (Women, Infants, and Children), foodstamps, medi-cal, and other forms of welfare provided by the state. They sit around on their ass, and 'take care of' their kids, collecting money from the state. If these parents had enough energy to penetrate a lady cave, or to spread their legs and let a jizz hurricane inside of them- they sure as hell should have enough energy to get off their lazy ass and go back to school or get a job to support THEIR child. California is not responsible for taking care of YOUR child. If you think you're mature enough to handle having sex, you need to be mature enough to handle the consequences. It's not that hard to cover your stump before you hump. And women should take the pill before they let a guy drill. Common sense...

It doesn't help that Chowchilla is so conservative when it comes to the topic of sex. It is rare for a parent to be open with their child about sex in this small community because everyone has such traditional values. So they get to take some of the blame. Parents should start talking to their kids about sex at a young age so they're prepared to make better choices in the future. Schools should also be more open to having seminars, discussion groups, and clubs that help promote safe sex. Kids should be aware of everything that factors into having sex. The good and the bad. If the parents and schools were more proactive when it came to the 'sex talk', the STD's and unwanted pregnancies in this town would decrease.  I personally think Chowchilla should have a Planned Parenthood center. The truth is, the younger generation has reached new heights when it comes to sexual activity. It is impossible to stop, because they will find a way to have sex regardless of the circumstances. So make sure they're prepared, that's all we can do. They need to know that sex is cleaner with a packaged weiner. Women need to take the same precautions and get on some sort of birth control if they're planning on having sex. Guys should always be prepared. Don't make a mistake, and cover your snake!!

I'm tired of seeing all of these teenage parent's around town, collecting free shit from the state. If you don't have the resources to even take care of yourself, don't bring a child into the world. It's not fair to them, or to the tax payers of California. We all suffer in the end because of your douchebag mistake. I know how you all work the system. Pop out one kid after the other to get more from the state. It's bullshit. If I have to pass a drug test so I can work my ass off for the money I EARN, then you should have to pass a drug test to get free benefits from the State of California. If you can afford to buy cigarettes, pot, and alcohol- you don't need foodstamps, WIC, or medi-cal. It is pretty upsetting when I go to the grocery store to get my generic, cheap ass groceries- while you're in line getting steak, with all the trimmings, and a fucking cheesecake for dessert. I'm glad you're eating well on California's dime while the HARD WORKERS eat like peasants. Get off your ass, get a job, and take care of your family!

It's simple, ladies and gentleman. If you want to fuck- be responsible. Guys need to stop sticking their beefsticks in tacos if they don't wrap them. Ladies need to stop letting men inside of their hotpockets without a glove. No glove, no love.

If not, be prepared to live with the consequences- and learn how to raise your kid without help from the state.

Until next time, peace out bitches. =)